I heard about Beyond via social media, and I’ve applied the past two years but to be honest I had no idea what I wanted to do as an artist and how to develop my career. I’ve always been interested in producing and supporting other people’s stories, but I never had the confidence to put myself forward, and I have anxiety about money and funding applications. Working as a writer and performer, I’ve worked with various brilliant producers and slowly I started to get over my fear and I was itching at the feet – I want to be a producer. I needed to put my big girl pants on and just do it. Then the Beyond applications rolled around again, and I had a clear goal for my artist development: “I want to be disabled Margot Robbie and be an accessible producer.”
I first started going to the Everyman Playhouse when I was 14 as part of the YEP drop in drama group, then during the pandemic I joined the YEP writers cohort, and from 2023-2024 I was part of the Playwright’s program. It was nice to continue my relationship with the Everyman, albeit learning about something completely different and that was out of my comfort zone. The Everyman really opened their doors to me, and everyone has been so generous with their time and knowledge (and on one occasion, the 60th birthday cake that I am still thinking about, that was a good cake).
Combined with the Everyman’s knowledge, I loved learning through a disabled lens with Graeae. You don’t blink at accessible practice with Graeae because it’s embedded into everything, yet in the same breath, Graeae are always working hard and tailoring access on an individual level. Graeae feels like a community and I feel lucky to be involved.
In the summer of 2025, I had some health issues which meant all work fell by the wayside. My confidence really took a dip, and I kept putting pressure on myself to get back to normal which of course kept making things worse. Graeae and the Everyman were supportive and patient when I picked myself back up again, and this was when the opportunity came up to assistant produce the Beyond Showcase at Derby Theatre.
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I knew I had an opportunity with this role to challenge myself whilst having the Graeae team around me for support, so I wanted to learn about budgeting, contracting, and tech liaison, which are the aspects of producing that scared me the most. However, working on the showcase, I discovered I love and I can do the admin side! I love a spreadsheet, I love casting and finding people, and I love being detail oriented. Getting practical experience did wonders for my confidence as a producer, and made me realise I can do it. You do have to get stuck in and just do it because it’s no use overthinking (even though I am still a chronic overthinker, I’m trying!). It was great being a part of the Graeae team, and being able to go to them for support and questions as well. It was really eye opening seeing the amount of work Graeae put into the showcase and the Beyond programme as a whole. It was a brilliant day at the Showcase, and it was lovely seeing everyone’s work over the past 18 months come to fruition.
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Since the Beyond Programme, Laura recommended me as a producer on a project by Lucy Fiori and Graeae Beyond alumni Elaine Collins called Dyspraxic’s Can’t Whistle. We’re waiting to hear back if we’ve got funding but I’m really excited. In the future, I’d love to have my own production company creating accessible work.
As for advice I’d give to others (and need to take myself);
- Do what scares you, because it’s actually probably not that scary when you do it.
- Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, you’re human. You don’t have to be good at everything, but it’s useful to find people to work with and support you with your weak areas.
- Look after yourself! There’s a difference between challenging yourself and pushing yourself to breaking point. It’s really hard to not compare yourself to a non disabled standard but you’re always going to fail if you set an impossible goal. I’m saying this like it’s easy but I constantly have to check myself and I have a good support system around me for when I have wobbles.
- Put your big girl pants on and do it.